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5. Males Pressuring Males – A lot of our male respondents mentioned that the strain males felt from different males was enormous, when and in the event that they have been to return out and admit that they have been brazenly religious. It’s one of many key causes many males saved their spirituality quiet and near their chest. Many mentioned that there’s an innate competitiveness between males that shamed them into feeling ‘lower than’ and defensive for not sharing the mainstream perfect of what it’s to be ‘masculine’. And but, many ladies (in addition to myself) mentioned that we discovered it extraordinarily masculine when a person can brazenly share his emotions and specific his spirituality. Males mentioned that they’ve issue opening up when different males are round, as they have a tendency to really feel that they’ll be judged or put down. Whereas, they felt safer opening up in entrance of girls who can be extra accepting of them. Though there have been some males, who mentioned girls have been judgemental too and had concepts that religious males may be ‘too delicate’. Of specific be aware amongst our male respondents, is that they mentioned it was widespread for males to imagine that one other man is ‘effeminate’ when he exhibits or shares his religious aspect – seeing spirituality, as being ‘female’, fairly than ‘masculine’.

6. Spirituality Seen as ‘Not Masculine’ – A lot of our male respondents agreed that males (and girls) noticed spirituality as a female high quality and one which diminished their masculinity not directly. This utilized added weight to the explanation why males have been reluctant to brazenly share their views and experiences in religious discussions, as they feared their gender would come into query. Certainly, it’s so essential that we perceive that being open to your religious fact has nothing to do with gender (that polarises it manner an excessive amount of). Spirituality is our widespread supply and isn’t gender primarily based. Sure, we will specific our spirituality via the lens of femininity and/or masculinity. Every of us has entry to each of those power flows. One shouldn’t be higher than the opposite. One shouldn’t be extra religious. Each mix to create the entire. Certainly, the extra that we will see extra males brazenly sharing their spirituality whereas sustaining who they’re, of their integrity and authenticity, the higher permission it provides for all males to do the identical and for girls to additionally comply with go well with.

7. Mixing Science and Spirituality – One other nice level from our respondents was that some males view spirituality via the lens of science. They see science because the important hall via which the religious dimension may be quantified and touched, thereby making spirituality extra accessible and acceptable to all. And thus, these males don’t are inclined to share their views from a religious ‘subjective and private’ standpoint, however extra from a structured, outcomes and proof primarily based perspective.

8. Male Religious Leaders Dominating – Lots of the respondents (women and men alike) had an identical expertise the place males that they had come throughout in religious teams or boards would attempt to take over – or tackle a management function, not lengthy after becoming a member of. Particularly, this may occur with males who might have been ‘new’ to the religious path, however felt that they ‘knew every part’ after solely a short while of being uncovered to religious ideas and views. This was ‘off-putting’ to many real males (on their path for a few years) who attended religious teams, courses or workshops in an effort to contribute, develop and study. They have been really ‘embarrassed’ by some males attempting to take over and dominate discussions and teachings, so quickly after becoming a member of a bunch. They mentioned that is what put them off from sharing an excessive amount of about their religious path publicly, as they didn’t need to be judged, as considered one of ‘these domineering males’, who attempt to take over – notably when there’s a predominantly feminine viewers in attendance.

9. Males Feeling Safer to Specific in Teams – Lots of the males who responded to my put up additionally mentioned that they felt safer opening up in group conditions that they have been accustomed to, fairly then doing so (maybe in a extra random manner) on-line. Whereas girls, discovered a typical bond by sharing (maybe to these they don’t even know). Males appeared to be a lot extra cautious, preferring to maintain quiet, till they felt they have been protected from judgment or recrimination. Once more, this seems to be as a result of they don’t need to be judged or pressurised by different males and/or girls.

10. Religious Males and Ulterior Motives – A preferred response was the variety of cases that males (and girls) skilled the place males who have been brazenly ‘religious’ or even perhaps ‘religious lecturers’ have been abusing their positions of belief. Many mentioned that males they’ve come throughout in religious courses or retreats have been solely there to meet girls, who they discovered to be simple targets – searching for their soul mates or religious males who understood them. Certainly, I’ve seen this occur with some males that I’ve met in religious teams and I’ve heard it occurring (rather a lot) with girls I’ve labored with in private classes. Many ladies have begun a relationship with their male religious trainer, which has been complicated to them. I’ve at all times thought that males ‘specifically’ will need to have nice integrity if they’re to be a religious trainer, as a result of with so many ladies on this area open, trusting and searching for males to narrate to on a soulful foundation, one should at all times be – above reproach.

11. Dropping Contact with Mates When Coming Out as Religious – And eventually, the opposite widespread theme amongst many male respondents was that they discovered the religious path a lonely one, as soon as their pals or colleagues knew about their religious path. Many felt unhappy or upset that after their pals and/or household knew extra about who they’re that they not needed to be round them. They slowly noticed individuals from their previous transfer away and lose contact. And on the flip aspect of this, some males mentioned that they have been really grateful that that they had been open and sincere about who they’re and what they comply with, because it meant they not needed to play a charade and affiliate with individuals they not resonated with. So, it could possibly go each methods.



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